Does K-9/11 take hero-worship too far?

For those of you who have come across this news item today, I suspect I'm not alone in my opinion that this represents a step too far. Read it first and then carry on with my blog...If you can't be arsed to read that first, I've summarised the article below.

In short, a US firm has successfully cloned five puppies from Trakr, a search and rescue dog who found the last remaining survivors from the 9/11 wreckage. Unfortunately Trakr passed away in April of this year, following a long and distinguished career as a S&R dog. His handler was quoted as saying "Trakr was an extraordinary search and rescue dog. His work at Ground Zero was the culmination of his career,".

So what better gift to give the former handler as a testament to the courageous dog's life, than five identical clones of that very animal... What's more, these puppies will be put through the same training in the hope that they too will become legendary S&R dogs, and if they don't make the grade? Then we still have the novelty value of their heroic ancestry. One of them has already been described as "an exact replica of Trakr. "The physical similarities are uncanny," he said." Well, he is a clone, isn't he? Aren't clones supposed to be exact replicas?

In ten years time we could have an entire fleet of these Trakr clones, serving every major rescue service in the world with invaluable animal labour - though at a price. Each pup costs £88k to 'make' and that clearly doesn't suit everyone's pockets. Maybe there will be cheaper 'own-brand' versions as well, the Tesco Value Rescue Dog with the typically modest sales pitch "Same distinctive markings, scared of confined spaces". Then we reach a point where we are able to clone Lassie too, though not for S&R purposes (she was a bit limited in scope - fine if someone's fallen down a mine-shaft) - no the Lassie range would become the most sought after dog in Hollywood, darling of the sponsorship deals and stunt co-ordinators. "She was a great dog to work with, very patient and a fastiduous student of Stanislavski's method acting."

I can think of one benefit to this however, Charlie Brooker could, at last, keep a pet. Safe in the knowledge that when the poor wretch eventually chokes it, he could just fetch another out of the freezer, bung it in the microwave for 5 hours on defrost and bob's the exact clone of your father's brother.

On a more serious note, it doesn't take a too large a leap of imagination to expect clones of the firefighters and medics who also helped at Ground Zero, they too are heroes and potentially "one in a million exceptions to the [immorality] rule". We didn't like the idea of cloning sheep ten years ago, why is this any more acceptable now? Why are we ok with cloning more animals when there are already so many mistreated and unwanted pets in the world? How can we justify the cost (financial and environmentally) of making more pets and more lives to support, just because they might be good at finding survivors in disasters of our own making? Prevention is always better than the cure...

Mikey

Slow news days...

We hear plenty of talk about the decline of the local media industry as inefficient and undersubscribed newspapers fold under the pressure of the global downturn - which is completely understandable in my opinion. In the face of reduced disposable income and the prioritisation of spending, the first thing many Brits will refrain from is buying a weekly newspaper, saving them 30p a week or a massive £15.40 per year. Such funds could be prudently invested in building an underground flood shelter in your basement for when the polar caps disappear and the world explodes in a ball of fire and steam, that or in the RBS group.

Actually, I think the decline is possibly more to do with an increase in sensationalist journalism and news fabrication. Let me clear that last one up; I don't mean tired hacks making up stories at 3:29am, moments before copy deadline. No, I mean stories made from unsubstantiated rumours, from tenuous interpretations of statements and press releases, and from stories that just aren't news.

Allow me to furnish my comments with some examples:
http://blogs.pressgazette.co.uk/wire/4987
http://www.thisiskent.co.uk/news/Whitstable-mum-custard-shortage/article-845364-detail/article.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5540852/Mother-duck-stands-on-duckling.html

If you managed to get to through these without wetting yourself or storming off in disgust at the amount of ink/paper/carbon wasted in the circulation of these stories, then you may have made it to the comments sections at the bottom of each article. I hope the Chief Editors of each respective paper also got down to the comments - the British people have spoken.

So local newspapers, for decades the primary outlet of such pressing news items, may go out-of-print. No worry, there's still the internet (or Twitter) for posting all of their observances of natural and banal phenomena.

nolife @headuparse Just seen hedgehog escape unprovoked roadrage incident, eyewitness describes mood as prickly.
update 1s ago from iPhone (cock!)

So citizens of Britain, if you want to save your local media industries, go out and make some news happen! Any kind; scandals, slanderous accusations, treason whatever. I don't care, just don't try and buy custard in Whitstable.

Mikey

Little Post

I was buying a father's day card in Clinton's Cards (already begrudgingly) and the shop assistant asked whether I wanted to buy a "cancer pen". Sensing my alarm, the assistant then offered the additional information that this was, in fact, a normal pen being sold to raise money for a charity. I relaxed a little, considered saying "No thanks" then saw it was for prostate cancer, I tensed up again. "Yes, I'll take one. Thank you." OK, so £2 to help stave off the potential cancer is a small price to pay, and I was happy. Then I saw the box for the pens, and the disclaimer stating that 20p from every pen sold will go towards this charity, which is insane! A pen costs about 5p to make, and not much more to store, distribute, market and support. So why are Clinton cards, or whichever shyster, pocketing 80% of our cancer insurance plan?

The last bastian of hope for the humble hardback...

Birthdays usually bring together friends for celebration and relaxation, perhaps some long lost mates and estranged partners in the most extreme circumstances, but there is another 'bringing together of people' that occurs around a birthday, the "Oh shit, it's tomorrow? But I've got em nowt! Oh bollocks..." In times of strife we pull together and frantically try and think what the most suitable gift would be, were money no object? That normally gives us at least an idea, from which we can rein in depending on budget or how much we actually like them. It is in this, our darkest hour, that we turn to the humble book for support.

The book, both hated and celebrated at once, forms the ideal gift because you will doubtless find something of relevance or interest, even if you don't know the recipient that well. Books are nice too, big colourful pictures, funny chapter titles, inappropriate quotes and endorsements - it's all there. And frankly, I enjoy any excuse to nose around an old bookshop for an hour or so. But I also like sitting down, perhaps with a cup'o tea and maybe a biscuit (who doesn't) - this is where technology has stolen a march on the bookshop, allowing you to trawl for hours through Amazon.

Can a bookshop recommend a range of books, so tenuously associated with your previous purchase history that you have to double-check and make sure you've actually logged into your own account? Well, no. It can't. Unless you loyally visit a schizophrenic purveyor of books.

Can a bookshop allow you to read endless customer reviews which reflect the opinions of the educated masses or the sarcastic nay-sayers? Well, maybe. If you're unlucky enough to have a fellow browser peer over your shoulder and offer their two cents, which is actually worth about 1 yen. Note, it is not discourteous to tell them which slot to stick their two cents in.

Can a bookshop lure you in with impossibly cheap unit prices then force you to pay 200% of that price for a carrier bag and someone to carry it home for you? No actually, they can't on this one.

I think the biggest problem for me though, and it is this problem I face now, is that I want to buy an art book for a good friend. I know the kind of paintings they will enjoy, and I've got a bit of art knowledge anyway, but I don't want to be pigeon-holed into buying one style or artist's work. I want to browse the shelves, gaze at the covers, and skim the blurbs. I want to thumb through the pages, feel the resistance they offer, how the light reflects off the ink and see if the writing inside is informative or sickness-inducing. All very important factors, and can Amazon do any of this? Nope. So I'm off to the bookshop in my lunchbreak.

And don't even get me started on eBooks...


Mikey

Can we break the cycle?

There were a couple of things I wanted to talk about from today too.

Sustrans (government quango for getting more folk to use their legs for more than just walking to and from their car) announces impressive statistic "Number of daily users of the National Cycle Network reaches landmark one million figure". Great, but there are 60m of us in this country, and Sustrans boast that the Network comes within one mile of half the population. Ok, so 30m Brits have the Network on their doorstep but only 0.3% can be arsed to use it... is that progress?

On a not-too-dissimilar vein, I was out hiking yesterday and after an 8-hour hike (and getting lost), we decided to hitch the last few miles back to the car. Out of the 20 or so big 4x4's carrying only the driver that we thumbed for a lift (there were two of us, myself and an attractive young lady), only one stopped to ask where we were going. This kind of mentality is why less than 1% of the population wants to use the cycle networks - a fear of leaving one's comfort zones. Something I obviously am happy to do by going out into the countryside and getting myself lost.

If there's one thing we're learning by the day, its that being tucked up cosily inside our comfort zones is essentially why this planet is in such dire need of help and intervention. The environment's comfort zone and ours are not the same. Get on it World, be more generous with your time and energy, not just your wallets (for those that think they can buy conscience!).

Anyway, more to come...

Bringing you upto speed... June 08

If you've been in a coma or watching nothing but Dave for the past year, then you've probably missed a few things that have happened in the world. I'll try and summarise here, without going into too much detail (I don't want to patronise those of you out there who have heard what's happening out there). I shall also try and give some frame of reference of what I was doing at the time...but this isn't about me necessarily. I have chosen the excellent Wikipedia as my memory refresher...

So, in an effort to remain focused and concise, I've opted for a month-by-month account. I rejected the comic-book format due to the fact I can't really be arsed and it would look a bit shit. So, here we go:

June 2008:
Me - Quit working at the Joogleberry Playhouse. Began first real period of unemployment, approx 3 months before the 'big crash'. Started watching Battlestar Galactica. Good timing Mike!

The World - Barack Obama wins first primary (and is first Afro-American elected) in the run-up to the US Elections '08. No-one is really sure who he is or how he thinks he'll get elected, the audacity of it! Nevertheless, Clinton bottles it and throws in the towel, sensing an inevitible Republican victory.

Sub-Prime crisis begins to gain column inches, but no-one actually knows what this means (including the people who thought it was a sustainable business model). Across the globe, nations start announcing plans to stave off recession, including the economic powerhouses of Lithuania and Ireland.

Al-Qaeda bombs the Danish Embassy because they didn't like a cartoon drawn by a Great Dane, go easy on him...he's only got four legs.

Spain dick on the rest of Europe and win the Euros, England is, like, totally not bovvered though!

California legalises gay marriages, The Governator becomes the most widely requested bridesmaid since records began.

Robert Mugabe is stripped of an honorary knighthood by the UK Foreign Office, exactly what he was doing with a knighthood I don't know.


So June was a quiet month by all accounts, one of those smouldering months where stuff is happening just below the surface but the average person doesn't really care. I didn't, I was handing in my notice and lining up more interviews for what I now come to refer to as "the Summer of Discontent' How it would all change...

So, what am I doing here?

Hmmm, good question. Until fairly recently, I was fairly happy that my opinions mattered only to myself, and that even then I should take them with a pinch of salt - I know me better than anyone else does.

However, as I get older and meet more people, I realise that actually I probably know more things than a significant proportion of the UKs population (I'm guessing around 13.2% of them), and as such, people should listen to me. After they've listened to me, they can make a choice to consider what I've said as being useful or useless, but only after reading. Hopefully, the majority will consider it useful and may even listen to me.

The source of my wondrous and far-reaching knowledge? Friends, colleagues, the Internet, books and TV. I would add the radio, but all I hear on that are endless repeats of current popular music - music which is popularly despised and disregarded by anyone who I care to listen to.

So, I've probably set out my stall here as being a hate-filled, bile-infested bucket of slops on the floor of the abattoir of life's eternal disappointments... Not so, there are lots of things to be happy about and it is always easier to complain than compliment. Doesn't mean you should avoid complaining about things, just try and find the constructive positives in your criticism. That is the long-term aim of this post. As I, and many of my fellow world inhabitants come to learn, we can do a lot about the planet we live on and the people we share it with.

So, I will write a regular blog of things that I think require some level of discussion and hopefully you'll stick with me to see how it goes...

Mike